The Viper's Venom (Or Maybe They Were Right About Meeting Your Heros)

Hello all, Wallio here to tell you about the other side of the coin with my new found love affair with the Viper. But first a bit of automotive news, as that's what this blog is supposed to be about.

Saab is now owned by the Chinese! I'll give ya a minute to let that sink in. Try to follow me on this one. Spyker, the supercar company bought Saab. In order to do that they had to sell Spyker Cars to the Brits. So Spkyer no longer owns Spyker, but now owns Saab, but still calls itself Spyker and still calls Saab....well Saab. Confused yet? But Spkyer spent all its money buying Saab so Saab went bankrupt and was bought by the Chinese. So Spyker still doesn't own Spyker, and now it doesn't own Saab, but it still runs Saab, as Spyker. Whew. That logo chart is from CarLogos.org, and they have great charts like that of all the major car companies. Check'em out.

In far less confusing news, the Corvette C7 (concept pictured above) will have a split window. Hear that? That's the sound of all those old crotchity Vette fanboys hanging themselves. I gotta say, love the concept (of bringing the split window back),  but I hate the concept car. The drivelines will be exactly the same, as will the chassis, so its only a visual change. And as such, can it really be called the C7? Hell, will Chevy even build it? (Doubtful in my opinion) We'll see come 2013......

I wrote last night how great it was to drive the Viper, and it was. Trouble now is, I have a new benchmark. When Jeremy Clarkson drove the Veryon, he commented that it was bittersweet, because he knew he would never own one. Driving the Viper ended up being bittersweet for me too, because, while one day I will own one, until that day, everything else seems lame. Its quite gutting to put your heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears, and an ass-ton of money into a car, and then hop in something that bone stock is quicker, faster, more comfortable, better looking, more reliable, and all around better than what you've built.

I have grown bored with my Charger, for the first time since I've had her. Compared to the Viper, she's a worthless, slow rattletrap (a bit harsh, but you get the idea). When I pound on her, its a royal achievement to hit 100+. After all the smoke and tyre squeal, and 20 minutes later when traction is finally achieved, she shakes, and screams and barks, and it feels like the whole car wants to split into pieces. Since I never really drive her, there's always a small mechanical glitch that needs correcting. Its insanely frustrating. Plus in the pursuit of even more performance, the car has turned into a money pit.

The Viper was just the opposite.  Hop in and go, no foibles, no hitches, just run after run of 110mph without drama. It was unreal. So now I'm seriously considering selling Roxy. But that leaves me with a problem. What to buy? The only thing I really want is a Viper (a white '97 GTS see below) There's no way I'll get the 35K I need for my car (I'll be lucky if I get 20). So what to buy? A DMC-12? A Cosworth Vega? Maybe a Maverick Grabber, or a Grand National. Who knows. I've got some time to think it over though, as Roxy is nowhere near ready to sell. Traction Bars, nitrous, intake, new tyres, and line-loc all have to go on, and the exterior needs to be painted (when the fuck is the body man going to pull my number?) And then the engine needs to be pulled and the engine bay needs to be cleaned up. After that she'll be ready to go. Or I'll have changed my mind, who knows? Later Tuned heads!