I haven't posted in a while so here we go. Every year at this time the local Tax Company "Liberty Tax" has mascots out in full force to get customers into the office. With the unseasonal weather this year I brought out my 1989 Cadillac Deville never have I had the car out this early. The car has a mounted ooga horn behind the front bumper and a switch on the floor to trigger the horn.
Nissan has announced the relaunching of its Datsun Brand. The name had been discontinued since 1981 after Nissan felt "established" enough in the US to sell cars as well Nissan. Now Datsun was known for two things: the mildly decent and surprisingly fun 240/260/280Z sports car, building a bunch f other crap that fell apart while you watched. Happily for car enthusiasts, (but sadly for satirists like me) Datsun will not be coming back to the US. Rather Nissan is using its old trick of selling Datsuns in areas, that they aren't established yet, namely Russia, Indonesia, and India. Datsun is hopeful of selling nearly 300,000 cars a year in Indonesia alone. Ambious but doable. By 2020 expect the Datsun nameplate to die again. You heard it here first.
However, Nissan now officially has three brands, with Datsun taking the "cheap, good gas mileage entry-level spot" below Nissan proper and Infiniti. Nissan has not ruled out bring Datsuns over to the US if other cheap Japanese brands like Scion and Suzuki continue to sell well actually start to sell. So there's that to look forward to/laugh at.
Both the Viper and Corvette will be launching new models soon and I don't like either of 'em. The Corvette will be powered by a quad-cam, four valve 5.5 litre V8 (which now is going to be both NA and turbo'd apparently). Nice to see the mainstream car media reporting what this blog has known for over a year! The engine doesn't bother me, the split window and horrid front end do. We've posted pictures of the car on here before, and the design hasn't changed so take a look. We have until next year to hope for change, but it seems unlikely.
The new Viper just pisses me off. It will feature traction control, launch control, stability control, and Cruise control. So its another poseur mobile for old guys who can't get it up. Plus rumors of an automatic and entry level V8 persist! Worst yet, the price of real Vipers will now sky-rocket!
That's it for today, I'm depressed now. More later this week.
No, that's not a picture out of the 2013 FJ Cruiser brochure (although it really should be). And no, I didn't take it. But I was there riding along as me, The Future Ex-Mrs.-Wallio, and two of our mates drove through the closest thing to hell itself on God's green Earth.
OK back story time. The Fontenovas have been my friends for a while. I started working with Amanda years ago in Scranton when I was a young pup trying to break into both the racing world, and the wonderful world of historians. Amazingly enough we work together again in the Valley, now that I'm dabbling with both of my careers (she knew me before I was the Unquestioned, Undisputed Holder of the Title of World's Fastest Historian). And Geoff, her husband, has been there every step of the way. Geoff and I hit it off right away. We of course share many interests (Cowboy Bebop and Nerdy chicks being just two), and are both quite Italian (different regions but still). However, I think we get along so well because Geoff (to me at least) is an older, more refined and sophisticated (and if ego's no object) more bad ass version of myself. I grow a scraggly mess of an attempt at a beard, Geoff rocks a perfectly trimmed and curled handlebar 'stach. I drink really any kind of beer, Geoff is a knowledgeable beer snob micro-brew enthusiast. You get the idea. One thing Geoff is that am not is an amazing photographer. He took the picture on top of the page, and a few others below (you'll see the difference, trust me because whereas I only take pictures to clue my bleary-eyed hungover self in as to where I was the night before, he's actually good at it and enjoys it). He's shot some of the awesome high speed shots featured on this blog before. Check out his blog: http://gacphotography.blogspot.com/ The fact that the Future Ex-Mrs.-Wallio likes them is icing on the cake. We're discussing more trips like these, and if that happens Geoff may very well become the fourth man here on Tuned, which means he'll have to pick a nickname.......(maybe just G, like the quiet bad ass from House of the Dead? The video games, not the movie, and shame on you for asking......)
Anyway, back on topic, long-drawn out and uncharacteristically soft back story over. While we mostly (OK entirely, so far) focus on racing and speed here on Tuned (well except Hollywood of course) there are many other awesome things you can do in a car. Road Trips and Rock Crawling are two of them. Road Trips are self-explanatory, and if their not, leave America right the hell now, as you make me weep. Rock Crawling, on the ther hand, is another matter. Basically you find the steepest, roughest terrain and go over it. Its called crawling for a reason, as speed isn't an issue. 0-60 times, skid pad numbers and horsepower are not important. Approach and break over is where its at. I don't have much experience crawling myself, as I'm a tarmac guy, but I know the basics. Geoff wanted to go down to Centralia (more on why later) and crawl around and asked me to be his spotter. Basically a spotter is like a rallye co-driver, telling the driver about shit that will ruin his day, and giving him advice on how to avoid it. While I had only limited experience spotting for an ex-gf and her CJ7, I never shut up (spotters have to give a constant stream of info to the driver), so I knew I was up to the challenge.
Our adventure started as all great road trips do: at a diner. Over egg sandwiches, ham hash, toast and the mandatory 6 gallons of coffee, we discussed our plan (we didn't have one, why would we?) and set off. After about an hour, we became lost, but none of us cared as we stumbled upon a windmill farm.
With no signs posted forbidding entry we wandered over mesmerized. While I'm certainly no windmill fan, these amazed even me. You never realize how big they truly are (that what's she said!) and how loud they are. Years at the race track have destroyed my hearing, but even I found the loud hum a little surreal. This video (poorly) captures it. Geoff has a better one on his blog.
After we stood gaped mouthed for awhile staring and taking pictures, we loaded up and headed for Centralia, But not before I took a quick picture of the ladies. Here you can see the Future Ex-Mrs.-Wallio looking stoned, and Amanda looking at her IPhone likes its a Star Trek scanner. Or maybe she had an epic game of Angry Birds going, I dunno.
We soon reached the Ghost Town of Centralia. Quick back story number 2: A raging mine fire has been burning under the town for nearly a century (and if you believe the EPA will burn for two centuries more!). Only 13 people still live there, and as they move out their houses are bulldozed immediately. Smoke, heatwaves and noxious fumes still come up from various places in the ground, and the earth is burned and jagged in places. The stench of sulfur hangs in the air, and random sinkholes opening up are not that uncommon. Besides the half a dozen houses, only 3 cemeteries still remain. Pretty crazy eh? Just like out of Dante's Inferno.
As that video shows, we easily went over the hill designed to keep cars off Old Route 61. Geoff's FJ is a Trail Teams Edition meaning its loaded with TRD goodies, like skidplates, locking diffs, a badass gauge cluster, and lower gears. While I don't like Japanese cars, Tojo always could make trucks, and this 4 litre beast was no exception. We entered Old 61, which to me looks like the Nurburgring, if it was left fallow for a few years. My dream would be to get a moderately fast car on there, as its a decent stretch of road, and could be made fun, especially in something AWD like a Lancer, but alas, far too many people have discovered this oddity so there was plenty of foot traffic. We were the only car though, which got us some surprised looks and envious stares (although to be fair plenty of quads and dirt bikes were out).
While my crappy photo doesn't do it justice, the crack in the last picture had some smoke coming out of it. As you can see, everything is rather scorched. The trend continued as we plowed on into Centralia itself.
This is my version of the "FJ advert" shot from above and it sucks, but it gives you an idea of how barren and desolate Centralia is. This area here had fumes so thick it was hard to breathe. And a smoking hole (wow can't believe I just said that) as seen here:
(Obviously, Geoff took that one). This video should give you an idea about what we went through, or more accurately, over:
After visiting the cemeteries, having a picnic in Hell, and chatting up some other visitors (damn place really was like Grand Central Station) we left, but not before stopping to view what the mines had down to the local creek. See for yourself.
I like flavored water, but that's a bit much. We returned to the Fontenova compounded for an adult beverage and a book swap (The Godfather for Ron Jeremy's autobiography, one of the most epic trades of our time) where I was my usual self, commandeering the TV to watch the Gatornationals. We then did some bench racing until the Future Ex-Mrs.-Wallio got bored and it was time to retire. Geoff seems to want to work out the FJ again, and I'll keep spotting as long as he'll have me, so hopefully another trip will be a go soon. One thing is for sure, it will get good coverage on the interwebs. Until then what better way to hold you over than with this blooper/outtake? Cause if you don't have at least one or two, you ain't tryin hard enough!
That is an in-test shot of the Delta Wing (I refuse to call it the Nisan Delta Wing, you'll see why in a second). Now first off, this car sucks, lets just be frank about this. I wouldn't even waste my time, but the mainstream media is all over it. So I put my awesome post bout Team T & D rock crawling over hell on the back burner to give you a brief post on the DW (awesome rockcrawling post will be up by Monday).
The Delta Wing started off two years ago as an idea for an Indycar design. It was rejected. Team DW says it was rejected by narrow minded old men afraid of change. Fact is Delta Wing Inc. would not allow any changes to the design by the teams, ie, no one could make custom parts. Not a good way to make friends in racing. The ACO, who sanctions the 24 Hours of Le Mans, is allowing it to run as an experimental entry this year. As "Entry Zero" it cannot be classified, so no matter how well it does, it cannot win. However, it is being allowed to run to prove its theory.
The DW, in addition to looking like a penis, is an old Aston-Martin Lola AMR-1 chassis, with that long nose and huge rear end. The front tyres are only four inches wide. You read that right, theres only eight inches of rubber total touching the tarmac up front. Most of the cars the DW will race against have more than double that per tyre! It turns by a voodoo rear differential that splits the braking and torque among the rear wheels. I'd explain to you how it works, but I don't understand it, nobody does, not the drivers, the ACO, or even Ben Bowlby, the cars designer. (OK He might get it, but he ain't telling anyone).
The engine will be a Nissan 1.6 litre four cylinder turbo. Except it won't be. Its actually a Chevy engined rebaged as a Nissan. Nissan stepped in just last week and is only a sponsor, that's it (hence why I refuse to call it the Nissan Delta Wing). The team is actually run by Dan Gurney's All-American Racers team (another reason to hate Nissan, its seems unholy for those two to team up). The lump will produce a weak 300bhp. Mind you the DW will weigh half of what its competitors do, but still, most road cars have more than 300bhp these days. And the engine is very low tech, hell it isn't even a stressed member!
Now the ACO and the AAR Team expect it to run in the 3:32 lap bracket at Le Mans, faster than the LMP2 cars, but slower than the big boys. Could be interesting to see. Doubt it makes it a full 24 hours though.....
Below you will find three pics of the DW: First in Indycar trim, then in its initial sports car guise, and finally in Nissan form. Also, a video of Marino Francitti (Mrs. Ashley Judd's little brother) giving the car its initial shake down at Sebring this week. The motor sounds shitty and theres understeer aplenty, and honestly the lap doesn't appear that fast, but I'll cut them some slack, it was the first test, and nothing ever goes right at the first test. Le Mans is the goal, and June will be here before we know it.....
The Volt is Dead, Long Live The........? Monday GM killed the Volt. Well sort of. They suspended manufacture of it, shutting down the plant and laying off 1,300 workers. GM wanted to sell 10,000+ Volts a year, and only managed to off-load roughly 7,600 over the course of 2011 (compare that to GM's sales of Cruzes: 265,000 and Aveos: 500,000, both rounded down). Worse still in February 2012 GM only shipped 600 to dealers, less than half of which have sold. Now GM has said they will begin building the Volt again once its surplus cars are sold. Considering nearly 7,000 Volts are sitting in Michigan, those UAW guys are gonna be waiting a long time to get called back.....
So why did the Volt fail, especially when GM during 2011, had one of its best years, not in recent history, but ever? Well a few things:
First: It cost $41,000, more than double a Prius (which by the way is pronounced "PRY-us" ) and 10K more than a Nissan Leaf, which are its two main rivals, while getting less mpg than the Prius. To be fair, it did beat the Leaf in that department.
Second: It cost $41,000.
Third: It had a crappy interior, a way too complex instrument cluster and it looked like a Mailbu melted and was frozen.
Fourth: IT COST $41,000!
Fifth: They caught fire, and on at least two occasions, reignited days after they were put out.
Sixth: Did I mention how much they cost? No? Oh well it was $41,000!
Seventh: The auto bailout was for the most part a fairly unpopular program, even with myself, Mr. Americana when it comes to cars. And rightly or wrongly the Volt came to symbolize the bailout. Partly because GM was forced to build it in order to get the bailout AND were forced to price it to make a profit, hence the massive sticker. The government then got caught covering up the fires, so the Volt has quite a stigma to it.
Seventh: Being named Car and Driver's Car of the Year certainly didn't help, its pretty much a curse anymore.
Oh well I thought, Americans simply cannot build a good eco car. Especially GM. It's the EV1 all over again right? Not so fast. What if I were to tell you hybrids in general don't sell, at least not here anyway. "Wallio, you're dreaming, there's Priuses everywhere!" I thought so too, but then I did some digging. It turns out that in all of automotive history (since 1844) only 2.2 million hybrids have sold in the US. Now to be fair hybrids only have been around in America since 2001. So in 11 years 2.2 million hybrids (all makes combined) sold in the US. Think that's impressive? In 2011 GM alonesold2.2 million carsin nine months! While America is number 2 in the world in hybrid sales behind Japan, we're also number 1 in the world by a large margin in V8 sales. And hybrids make up only about 2% of all cars in America! So I guess green really isn't the new black huh? (More proof that Cheri Sundra is indeed the new black)
So why don't hybrids in general sell? Well some do. The Prius of course dominates with one out of every two hybrids sold . And the Leaf sold over 11,000 units in 2011 but for the most part hybrids have several problems:
1.) Looks. Most hybrids are ugly as sin, due to packaging those massive batteries and still having to be able to cut through the wind to save gas. Look at a Nssan Leaf without gagging, go ahead, I dare ya.
2.) Poor build quality. Let's face it: most hybrids are just crappy cars. And I'm not talking about from performance standpoint. Interiors, wheels, and even nuts and bolts all suffer, in order to keep the car reasonably priced. Because of how expensive the batteries are, even the Japanese, the undisputed kings of car interiors, fill their hybrids with cheap grey plastic. Also the complicated electrics can only take so many recharges and rarely last even a decade. And that sucks. Oh and remember the stuck throttle recall? Affected the Priuses, and so did the ABS-Failure recall, and the steering recall........
3.) Cost. While not all hybrids start at $41k, most are overpriced. Especially when you can get a Korean eco-box for 10k that'll do just about the same stuff. This dooms hybrids that are eco-versions of normal cars, like the Fusion. Why pay 5-10k more? For what? 5mpg? Sure there's a tax break, and you will save a bit of gas, but it'll take a long time to recoup that extra dough.
4.) They're not really green. Most hybrids are all talk. Toyota claims well over 60mpg for the Prius. Good luck breaking 50, even if you drive like Hollywood. Also, a British study (which was ignored by the media) showed that with how brutal the batteries and electrics are to produce, a Prius will do more harm to the environment than a V8 Land Rover. And the most mpg you can get out of a car is 76, from the VW Polo Blue Motion, a "dirty" diesel. Which leads us to..........
5.) The rise of the diesels. Americans are finally waking up to what the rest of the world has always known. Diesels rock. Slowly but surely diesel cars are selling in the US, lead by the VW TDI revolution. Long story short, they get better gas mileage than a hybrid, and they don't suck!
6.) We're Americans. We don't drive eco-cars. We invented hot-roddingPrius. And yea you may get a few chicks, but they'll be the crazy PETA bitches. No one wants them.
So long story short, despite what the media and Toyota are telling us, hybrids don't sell. Why? Because people aren't stupid. The cars are overpriced, crappy, slow, ugly, and not very green or well put together. Now while the 90-mile and its dead Leaf is still selling (proving there really is one born every minute) if you want a car that screams "I'm cheap!" Buy a Kia. If you want a fun car that's good on gas, get a Cruze, or Imprezza, or Maxima, or Fusion. And if you want to be smart, get a diesel. Just don't buy a hybrid. Please. And judging by the numbers for the last 12 years, you're not. No one is.
And give GM credit, they tried. Uncle Sam forced their hand and it ended up pear shaped. So it goes.
Oh and if anyone questions my numbers from the first part, you can find them on Wikipedia, Consumer Reports, and HybridCars.com
Hello all, Wallio back with a lesson on aesthetics. People buy cars for alot of reasons. Looks are one of them. But what makes a car look good? Clean, smooth lines, nice paint, curves in all the right place. A lot like a woman actually (just kidding ladies). However, if a car is fast it is automatically beautiful.
This especially true of race cars. If they go fast, they look good. If they look good, they usually go fast. If something looks wrong, it probably is. This years F1 cars with their bump noses and this years Indycars with their "bumpers" look hideous. Or do they? If they fly all will be forgotten. Of course, even by comparison they aren't that bad. Check them out compared to past designs......
First in case you live under a rock here's this year's Ferrari, the F2012:
And this year's Lotus Indycar, The DW12:
I think we can all agree something about them just doesn't look right. However, check out these design trends....
Tea-Tray Front Wings 1970s
March made customer chassis in F1 for decades and caused a stir with their mid-70s monstrosity. People laughed it off as a "Tea-tray" and shook their heads. Until it started winning. Then several teams adopted their own. While the tea-tray revolution was over before the 1970s were, it sparked a trend of ugly cars that soon won't be forgotten.
The Eifelland
The car above you is a tea-tray March underneath believe it or not. Trouble was they had on staff a Swiss designer of pens who thought this one piece body was the way to go. It wasn't. By mid-season the car reverted to a normal March and ditched all that heavy bodywork. Except for that periscope, I mean rearview mirror. That stayed all year, and never caught on. Gee I wonder why.....
X-Wings (mid-90s)
Tyrell (white car above) was a poor team on its last legs. They needed a cheap way to go fast. They had lots of scrap pieces of carbon fiber laying around, and crafted these wings to create mid-chassis downforce. People were horrified, but they worked, so much so. that by the end of the year, every team was using their own version. TV stations begged F1 to ban them, but they couldn't find a reason, until they started catching on airlines in pitlane. Safety was cited, and the X-wings (named after the Star Wars fighter) were banned. But not before Arrows tried this at Monaco....
The car wasn't allowed to race like that sadly (driver vision was cited as the reason) but it was the next logical extension of the concept. Reminds me of the car Rebel and I saw at Giants Despair last year....
I snapped a picture of this in the pits and yeah......what can we say?
So There you go. By comparsion the F1 and Indycars this years rules have given us are supermodels. The Indycar especially, has lost some of its ugliness by being several seconds a lap faster than its predecessor already in testing. But if you ever think a car is ugly, compare it to the Delta wing. If its prettier (and it will be) its ok. If its not, well god have mercy on our souls. See below, if you don't have a weak stomach. Wallio out.
Hey fellow Motorheads, Wallio back from the dead. Last month, during the Super Bowl, Visa ran a contest where you could win tickets to the Super Bowl for you and ten of your friends. The ads told you to "Choose YOUR Ten, then tell us why".
Well I thought this could be an awesome car post. If money was no object, what would your Ideal 10-car garage be? No limits, any ten cars you want. My list is below, and while they are all pretty rare, not all are wicked expensive, and many have been talked about on this blog before. So below, in no particular order, are my ten....
1970 Plymouth Superbird
I love street legal race cars, and this was one of the first. The Superbird was built to run in NASCAR (although some did see NHRA drag strip action) and its radical aero mods helped it to be the first car ever over 200mph during a race. NASCAR passed a rule saying one example had to be built for every dealership in America, thinking that Plymouth wouldn't build the nearly 1,800 required. They did, and while they didn't sell (some sat on lots for years afterwards), they won everything that there was to win, and then were banned after one year. The car was just a Road Runner with some stuck on bits that came only with a 440 or a HEMI and are worth close to $200,000 each today.
1997 Viper GTS-R
Another road going race car, the Viper GTS-R was built to allow the car to compete at Le Mans. It featured a stripped out interior, stiffer suspension, big rear spoiler, and more power from its V10. The race version of this car won its class driven by the Oreca team, and its engine holds the modern era Le Mans record for displacement at 8.4 Liters. Only 100 examples of this 200mph Mopar were built.
2006 SSC Ulitmate Aero TT
OK, so I never shut up about this car. OK, so it looks like a kit car and has all the furnishings of a turkish prison. And yes only about 30 were built, most going to the Middle East. But its got 1,200bhp, a top speed of nearly 260mph and no drivers aids. It can beat a Veyron in a drag race, and its powered by a small block Chevy. God Bless America.
1969 Chevy Camaro Z2-DZ302
For what its worth, that is a picture of a REAL DZ302. Looks like a normal Camaro right? Tht's the idea. The Z28 was the Camaro Chevy raced in Trams-Am. It was a road racing series with a 5 liter displacement limit. The Z28 featured a 302 engine and heavy duty suspension parts. The DZ302 package was the version raced, once again sold to the public in order to be legal (notice a trend?). The DZ was the motor, a higher reving, twin-carbed beast that featured a cross-ram intake (this alone is worth nearly 10k if you can find one) and factory headers. For insurance purposes, it was rated at 290bhp, but dyno tests have proved a bone stock DZ produced 410bhp! The DZ wasn't just a motor, it was a total package featuring 4-wheel disc brakes, bigger sway bars, and a close ratio gearbox. No surprise it won the Trans-Am title twice.
2010 Caterham RS500 Superlight
The RS500 is a kit car, but a factory kit car. It features a 2 liter Cosworth engine, a six-speed gearbox, two seats, four wheels, and thats about it. Options include windshield, radio, and paint (no I'm not kidding, look it up). However, it is faster around a track that pretty much anything, a Veyron and SSC included, and costs less than 70k. Not bad really.
1969 AMC SC/Rambler
I've always adored these cars, awesome name, red/white/blue paint job, the fact that it is another "street-legal race car" and the greatest hood scoop ever fitted to a car, ever! AMC poked fun at itself with this car, advertising it as a Rambler that runs 14.3s! Not bad for '69, but not good either. Truth be told, a decent driver and a set of slicks could have one of these running high 13s on the strip all day. All with the practicality of a family car. Too bad they only built 1,100 of em.
1982 Deloren DMC-12
We profiled the Delorean on here already, so I'll just say this: 30 years later, it still looks ahead of its time. And if you ever run across one of the 6,800ish left in the world, there WILL be a crowd around it. There always is.
1975 Cosworth Vega
Another car we already featured. Fun Reminder that when Americans build hot hatches amd Euroeans build muscle cars, hilarity ensues. The Cossie Vega also taught GM that making a version of your economy car the most expensive car in your line-up isn't too smart. Only 1,800 were built.
1966 Ford GT40
The story behind this car has filled many books, but I'm tired and have no idea how much Verizon is gonna charge me for my interwebs. Long story short, Ford wanted to buy Ferrari, Ferrari bails last minute, Ford decide to embarrass them by winning Le Mans. They buy a sports car design, but being American struggle with it. Then Ford wakes up, says "We're American, put a big-block in it!" stuff a 7-liter in the back and win Le Mans three times in a row by basically punching the laws of physics in the face. Then ADD kicks in and they quit. The End. Seriously.
Thats it for today Tuned fans. More tomorrow. What's your ten? Comment and let me know!
